you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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