i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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