Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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