Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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