I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
