as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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