your thong is hanging out like whoa
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
