He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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