he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
