The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
