Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Please don't give away my fajitas
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
