I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
