Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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