The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
