You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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