I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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