I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
