So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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