I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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