My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
