we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
