Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
