problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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