Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
