omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
As shirtless as possible
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
