So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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