i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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