thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Someone came in the potted fern
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
