I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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