Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
