I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
