Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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