So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
