you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
