My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
