Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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