Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
