New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
