One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
