we have officially mastered the walk of shame
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
