why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
