Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
