My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
