and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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