id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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