Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
