I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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