I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
