Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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