So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
