S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
