3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
